Torment of a shade
by Simplywaters
Summary: Post R2, Lelouch is dead, yet still walking amongst the living. Can he find the strength to move on?


Torment of a shade

Code Geass Kallulu

post R2

**Disclaimer**: All characters are property of their perspective owners. I own nothing.

* * *

"_I want it. I want it_." silky words brushed along the edges of his mind. Fragments of a broken self that wouldn't pass. The fire that burned before him warmed freezing fingers, but he couldn't touch them. Always just a hairsbreadth away.

"_Stop it!_" he shouldn't be here, shouldn't watch her. He was dead, gone so they might all have happiness. And they did, his sisters pale light beckoned him but only with reflected light. A moon compared to the bright sun that illuminated the dark where he resided.

"_Let them be. All your goals have been accomplished. Take peace from that."_ but he couldn't. Even as he tried to convince himself he was still here, crouching like the specter of death upon the vitalizing presence.

"_LEAVE!"_ the words knocked the ragged prince from the light he so greedily coveted. The faceless mask of Zero staring him down, disembodied yet filled with power.

"_You know this can not be. You gave it away. Stop tormenting yourself with this pointless act. They suffer in your shadow, Lelouch vi Brittania."_ the mask pushed him back, away from the light, the warmth, the life.

"_I want it! I need it._" staring past the mask Lelouch suddenly saw himself, clothing shredded and filthy, skin broken and oozing dark red blood. His feet were not covered and left stains that reeked with foul smoke. No longer the Emperor, no longer the student, no longer the mask. He was nothing.

"_so... cold"_ the thought alone drove him. All else was gone, he had succeeded. The world was safe to grow anew, free from the chains of ruthless dictators to let the people decide their own fate. Foolish people would destroy it eventually, but for now he had ushered in a new golden age. A time that would be remembered throughout history. Did he not deserve the pale illusion of warmth? He had given everything away, nothing was left to hold him together except the heat of others.

That hot breath of life was what he needed to pass on. But he could not take it, because of who it had to come from. His sister was to weak to grant him the strength to move along, to finally rise to the next stage of his being. She had grown with the years, but was still too faint. He was too far from the board to play yet, but could only gain the strength to get there from others. Snarling at the frigid air the fallen demi-god howled his ceaseless torment.

How long had he been here? Trapped in this freezing shadow of the world? Walking the streets he had liberated, visiting the houses he had freed. Empty eyes took it all in, points of light flickered all around in the dark. He could take them, the pitiful warmth they would give him would help. But they would not survive, not after his decaying touch broke them.

He couldn't take them. He had already given them everything so that these tiny lights might exist. Free from the smothering shadows of evil. He could not take that away from them after giving so much. They would not give him the strength he needed. So he wandered, frozen and dying, trying to glean some joy from the lights that pranced and frolicked in the safety he had won them.

"_It's torment."_ he sighed, the crystallized water particals visible in the heat of the real world. Heat that was denied him. The mindless sheep shuddered at his invisible yet draining specter. They made their brief signs to ward away evil and went about their business, never knowing that one mans will was all that stood between them and the icy claws of death. The pale ghost but inches from their skin.

It was there again. The light that shone with radiance that dwarfed the world around it, sending shadows furtively into corners and cracks to hide themselves. It warmed the very air around him, sending shivers of delight through the broken shell that was the former Emperor of Brittania. He couldn't resist it. He had to be near that warmth, even his inhuman will succumbed to the need for heat. Following it Lelouch's eyes slowly started to perceive the real world as his body warmed.

Red, like the glory of a new sun. He followed the color, desperate for its comforting existance. There was another there, a tiny light when compared to the brilliance of the ball of warmth that called to him. He wanted to take it, to snuff it out. Who was this person to even breath near the object of his desires. They passed soon enough though, and he did not remember them after.

"_I want that hot breath of life_." it ate at him, chewing through his core as he tried desperately to not take it from them. "_I want it... I want it in me_."

Howling he finally threw himself away from it. Tried to blind himself, to accept that he did not deserve the heat. That ice and cold would keep him, sustain him long enough to reach the other side. Creeping glacially down an alley he felt heat on his back. Turning the fallen prince beheld the glory of his sun again. Coming to him. For him. It picked him up, cradling his broken and frozen self in its embrace.

"_I love you_." it whispered, pink lips pressing down on his own broken ones. "_I will always be with you my king._"

"_I can't. I can't take you."_ he cried brokenly, trying to push the light away, to save it from being devoured by his insatiable hunger.

"_RUN! LEAVE ME!"_ desperate strength managed to separate him from the loving ministrations of his Queen. Stumbling along the wall, through trash and puddles the prince tried to run, to get as far away as possible so the need could not make him ingest all she would offer. Knowing that she would not hold back, would give him everything, everything he needed and everything she was.

"_Lelouch_." the words stopped him like a leash.

Looking back with eyes that could now see the prince took in the sight of her. Bright and vivid like a star brought to earth. Her red locks fluttered about the achingly beautiful heart-shaped face. Aquamarine eyes pierced him and held him immobile.

"_Let me give you this. It is all I can do for you, and I cannot bear to be parted again."_ the words were persuasive. An offer he could not resist for long, at all.

She drew near again, bringing him into her arms, feeding him her strength. Her love for him filling the broken body. Healing the fissures that criss-crossed his ancient body, and the deeper ones in his heart. She dimmed, and as she did he only grew stronger, more demanding. Taking more and more of her as she held him tightly. She pulled his lips, newly repaired and tender, to her own again. Sharing more and more of herself with him.

"_ENOUGH!_" he howled, trying weakly to let her go. To let her live. "_No more I beg you. I can't take it._"

"_You can, and you will. You have waited, waited so very long for me to join you. Let me take you to the next stage my prince._" succumbing to her will Lelouch felt the last of her light vanish.

The cold was gone, his hands were strong and healthy, his Clothing immaculate. Looking down with bright eyes he stared at the husk laying on the hospital bed at his feet. Age had been gentle for Kallen. The years had left her beautiful, in their particular way. If her skin was not grey with the pallor of death, if her eyes were not blank and unsettling, she would have been just as breath-taking as the last time he saw her. Right before his death.

"_I'm here now, I'll never leave you again._" she whispered from his mind, constantly feeding him her love. Pushing back the cold with the force of her passion.

"_I know my queen. Lets go, finally shake the clinging of this world and move forward._" shaking out his black feathers Lelouch rose on dark wings, their was another game to play. A new stage awaited. And with his Q-1 here, nothing was impossible.

* * *

This is something I just thought of after listening to 'Exstacy' by Dan Black and 'Montana' by Down and Above. Lelouch dies but can't move on as he gave too much of himself for the world. He ends up wandering for years and years until Kallen is ready to go with him. I don't think I'll continue this anytime soon (if I do at all, I'm still working on One little Oversight as well.) but I would like to hear your questions/comments on it (this is my second piece of work to be posted, ever. So any feedback would be very helpful.)

~**Simply**_Waters~_


End file.
